Last year my cousin tracked me down asking how things were with me and my dad.

That wasn't good.

Then a couple of private investigators come to my house looking for him in connection with some plant safety case.

That really wasn't good.

This week, my uncle wrote me, which forced me to think about my dad for a third time in as many months.

Here's his letter with my responses.

Must purge this mental poison by posting it to the world and letting it go.

> How's the family going?

Wife doing as well as can be expected, kids
doing great in school, home, and themselves.
Cats are both shedding for summer.

>  I had lost your e-mail addresses…we 
> need to get together and have dinner……

Sounds like a plan.

> I talked to [his] dad the other day…he is not working
> right now, but is staying busy working around the house….

Well, I guess that answers the question whether he's 
alive or not. You would not believe the stunned look
on some private investigator's face when I told her
flat out I had not heard from him in years and had no
idea if he was even alive anymore, much less how to get
in touch with him. She knew more about what he'd been
up to than I do.

> He and [she] are still together.

Well I guess it's a good thing I didn't turn her number
over to those PI's then. I guess he's found some measure
of happiness. Maybe they'll get married if they already
aren't. I'm not expecting an invite to the wedding if
they do, and I doubt I would go if they sent one.

>  Hopefully [I] will stay in touch with him even
> if he doesn't call.

No, actually, I don't have any intention of bothering.

I got the message loud and clear after calling over and
over when the kids were little, and only reaching his GF,
leaving the same messages, and never getting a call back.

Back then, I didn't care whether he wanted to have
anything to do with me or not, but I did try to give
him a chance to be in my kid's lives.

He's not interested in me, or them. At first I was really
angry about that, but I care less and less as the years go
by. I don't even think about it anymore, except for the
occasional reminder like the city chasing me about his
house or private investigators looking for him.

He doesn't even need to feel guilty about ditching us
either, if he ever did. I really don't care anymore.

After years of silence, I've accepted things and moved
on. I don't like how things have ended up, but that's 
not something I could do much about.

The wounds from him are scarring over nicely, and I
am not in the mind to rip them open again, especially
with the rather large risk he'd just drop out of sight
again, and start the whole miserable mess all over when
my kids would be more aware of what was happening.

I think its best if he remains a picture on the wall,
that they can ask about from time to time, rather than
him become someone who dumped them too.

Sorry to dump all of this on you guys this way, but
brutal honesty is all I have left in me when it comes
down to it.